the silence is deafening. and so you plug into your laptop or ipod. but then you realise that even as the music plays, you hear the silence. it won’t go away. all you can do is pretend it’s not there. you pretend it’s not awkward. you pretend everything is okay. and eventually when that moment is gone, you pretend it never happened. and even though you don’t really believe that ignorance is bliss, you pretend it is.

After staying at my gramps for a week, I realise I now take pleasure in washing up the dishes. Something weird is going on.

Made sushi the day before yesterday. Looks a lot better than it tastes. HAHA.

Know-it-all’s piss the hell out of me and make my blood boil.

Life doesn’t always go as you wish for it to. Imagine wanting something so bad and getting bad news. The guy up there really works in funny ways. Sometimes it’s not so funny though. Next round it’ll work. I’m praying it will. This family deserves another little person. Imagine how much everyone would love him/her.

So I’m sitting at the Macs in Dubai Airport waiting for my next flight to JFK. It was a lonely plane ride here but I slept half the time and watched movies the other half. It was pretty nice actually, traveling on my own. Next up: 13 hours to NYC. ((:

Oh and thank you for coming down to see me off and for the note Hilary & Family [and cash (:]. Much <3

<3 you steff. Thank you for talking to me and putting my mind at ease. Every time we skype I remember how much I actually miss having you here. And I used to think you lived so far away in the East. Now we’re a whole plane ride away. I feel like giving you a great big carnivorous hug. 

I am so stressed out right now. I have so so many things to complete before the 18th. Like so many assignments; interviews plus articles. Plus I’m helping out with my Uncle’s wedding. Which is pretty much taking up most of this week. I’m not even a slight bit prepared for the trip. It’s going to be very last minute. I can feel it. Not to mention a whole load of other things on my mind.

Time, if you could stop right about now for a while, or let me teleport myself, that would just be awesome.  

Maybe what I really need is some Paddle Pop ice-cream. Will someone bring me one now?

but I just want to be with you, my dear

So, my internship ended last Thursday. We’ve managed to score some freelance stuff. Pretty cool. I miss the team though. I miss sitting next to and talking to Jon and speaking with Celine at her desk the most. The people there are quite awesome (:

I LEAVE FOR NYC ON THE 18th!!! SCORE. I cannot wait for that. Transit at Dubai 4 hours there, 7 hours back. And the plane ride all alone. I’m excited but I’m shit scared. Please don’t let me be sitting next to some fat ass. If I can’t get to the toilets…. NIGHTMARE.

Fiona Ignatia Goh Shu Yi. You have no idea how much I miss you :( You’re the one I talk to about everything (however little my everything usually is). It’s not even big things that I wanna tell you. Just random little everyday things. That I can’t even recall now. And I’m not judging babe. I’m not even disappointed ok, I hope you know that. I wish you wouldn’t be so all out crazy and complicated there but you could never disappoint me lahhhhh. I LOVE YOU. See you in person in 20 days ((:

I promise I’ll cry coz I just did :(

MIKA was fucking awesome la. Photos are a total blur coz i took them with my phone. I’m glad we went though. I was singing along like a crazy woman. He has such an amazing voice. Plus he’s good looking to boot. His songs are wonderful stories and he told them brillintly tonight. LOVE. 

Overdue Mother’s Day Pictures

Damn. It IS possible to feel everything and nothing at all. 

I’ve never NEVER had to try so hard to keep the tears in. This week was just all over the place. Coming down to the hospital every evening is tiring. But she’s getting better. Slowly that is. 

FIONA. I cannot wait for the USA trip babe! NYC Florida Vegas LA and San Francisco! Woohooo. I miss you like crazy. Esp since I can’t really talk to you face-to-face. And I feel like I need to. Oh well. Better book my tickets soon ((:

Other than that. The internship has been good so far. I got to write/compile a few things. I don’t know. Maybe it’s what I want maybe not. 

USA TRIP DAMMIT. I NEED IT TO BE 19JULY NOW.